the mystic traveller.
A note to myself.
There Is Something About Her.
Sometimes you don't know why you are attracted to a person. You just don't know. You begin to think, is this physical? Or is there a real connection? You start to wonder if the other person is able to see it too? Or is the other person not wanting to see it? You see them, you wonder - They look familiar. May be not they feel the same way but there is always a possibility. If you ever feel that way, I would advice you "not" to hold yourself back. Trust your heart, be brave, go for it and say hello? You will be surprised how accurate your feelings were.
Heal My Soul
Have you ever taken a trip to the mountains? When you look at the vastness, it really makes you feel small. Try closing your eyes and sitting for 5 minutes on a mountain or lay down, take a nap. Have you ever seen the Himalayas? If you haven’t, I would strongly recommend visiting it once. It makes all the problems in the world look small. I love the Himalayas. I have been there a few times mountaineering and every time I visited it, it changed me. I am in the Swiss Alps, hiking, walking, and reading. Her thoughts were running in my mind because we had spoken before I took the trip. As I remembered her, I sent my favourite friend a picture when I was in the mountains. She said - "Wow, this is a perfect place to heal your soul". That triggered something in me. What made her say that? She must be going through something, I thought to myself. I did not pry. I observed and moved on. It is said that you can understand a person by knowing what they read. You are basically a collection of everything around you- the food you eat, the people you talk to & the books you read. I am genuinely interested in knowing why she said those words. So, I started from the first step. I asked her to recommend a book and she did. I got all my answers. Everything became clearer to me. I liked her more for who she really was. As I shared pictures of Swiss Alps, we made a promise to ourselves that we would hike the same mountain when I am 70 and she is 64. Why so old? Because I saw many old couple hiking the mountains, as friends, as partners, in that age you are free from all kinds of desires, and it is that companionship that you're after. Well, I just want to hike that mountain with her, sit and gaze at infinity. It is a shame that I don't know if either of us would live that long or have a strong eye sight to soak it all in, but for now it is a beautiful wish. As I made this wish; All I could think of is the old grandpa from the movie "Up", and I wondered if she has watched the movie. If she did, she would instantly know what I like her much. The first step of spirituality is to forego of desires but am building a mega one.
A Special Birthday Wish.
It was my birthday today. She sent me a special birthday wish. I know you might be thinking it is nothing. Well, I have a way of putting the universe into the equation for everything that happens to me. And a way of reasoning everything. All the three of best friends from my childhood, comfortably forgot my birthday this year. I don't blame them, they have had a lot this year. I have been crushing on her, and a wish from her made my day. She could have texted me, but she sent a short recorded to convey the wishes, so I value it. I have no long speeches for my birthday. It is just another year for me. Another year of experiences, another year of settling my dues in this life. I am extremely thankful for everything. For the health and wealth, the universe has showered on me and my family. As I do every year, I will only distribute it to others. With all my heart I wish this year, everyone around me is happy.
Pain.
Is it that feeling that you make you cry? Crying is just the side effect of it. Is it an emotion? Is outright ego that makes you feel powerless and can do nothing about it. For me it is a form of suffocation. It is a feeling that makes me want to scream out loud but not able to. Fortunately, I don’t have many painful moments but the one's I can vividly remember are the ones where I underwent excruciating pain, still I cannot forget. One was because of my failed relationship which took a toll on me heavily, my dad’s health which by god’s grace became better. Luckily, I had great support from my family and friends. They were always there to support me. I got back on my feet in no time, so I might be strong right? Same is not the case with people around me. One of my friends was in a relationship for over a period of 8 years. He broke up with his girl friend and even after 5 years, he is still unable to move on. Why was it difficult for him and easy for me? Is his love more genuine than mine that I was able to let go of everything so easily? It is so stupid to compare and weigh how much you love a person based on the time taken to forget them. I was able to let go because I don’t wish to live in the past. My friend is stuck with guilt that if he gets in a relationship with another girl his love for his ex would be tainted. He is fighting his guilt and not trying to see that it is only bringing him down. The point is not about him or me, the point is about guilt, how it can lead to pain and how one must let go of it to live the present.
Live And Let Live.
I am practicing to accept everything in life as they are. It is very difficult to not to get affected. But I will try. Everyone as they are and let be who they are. I was reading principles of Jainism, which is one of the oldest religions from the eastern world. It is centered on non-violence but if you dig deeper, it is all about how you have the right to live your life your way and everyone else has the same right. I am a non-vegetarian, that is one thing that I cannot really change for now. But all other aspects of letting people be, I can understand.
Taking people for granted.
I was in a company meeting today. We were a group of 5 people trying to solve a complex business problem. I was actively discussing possibilities with everyone and we were doing well. All of a sudden, one of my collegaues got annoyed with my behaviour. He stopped the discussion and said he dosn't agree to any of this. I paused for a second and apologized to him. We then took his inputs and arrived at a conclusion. I did a retrospective later in the afternoon on how the dicussion went and why I made him feel that way. I just couldn't put a pin on why he felt that way. I think I was a bit assertive with the fact that certain things need to be done the way I wanted, which annoyed him. I went about asking my colleagues if I was not inclusive, and they seem to think I was. It is possible that we take people of granted unknowingly. It takes lot of work to identify bias, inclusiveness. I am actively working on it.
A Bold Move?.
I made a bold move today. To connect with someone who is a complete stranger to me but I sense a strong sense of familiarity in them. Sometimes when you see someone, you think- Hey they look so familiar, where do I know them from? Have we met before? I think somewhere during our journeys, we have met, have we? I have this urge in me wanting to see who they really are? It is not like I am asking for a favor by befriending them. So I thought should I reach out to see if they know me well? There is no harm in saying a hello right? It doesn't hurt to extend a hand and see if they would like to hold it. After all, I am only extending a hand for them to hold on, not standing behind them waiting to push them down. I am aware that I run the risk of coming through as one of those desperate guys online. But then fortune favors the brave right?
Service. Empathy. Hard work. Love. Repeat.
What makes people great? Is it that their exceptional performance in their jobs? Or is it that they are taking care of their families? Or silently working towards the betterment of society? Or being empathetic to every individual around them? It is all the above really, isn't it? A few years ago, I got introduced to girl who lost her mother to cancer. In her earlier life she was a carefree woman. Her mum's loss transformed her into a a completely different person. She was in search of answers on life, what is all this. What is the root of change and transformation? I believe it is pain. Pain is a dangerous tool. It depends on how a person uses it. Pain changes you. Depending on who you are, it can either pushes you to perform better, to achieve exceptional results or pull you down to the streets of hell, to a point of no return. She started a charity, helping the people in need. People came together, she started helping the poor, travelling to countries with her personal money and helping the needy. I knew she was working round the clock, to connect funds to people in need. It was beautiful to look at the whole system work. I could see that it must be pure bliss to do this, help people in need. Her network grew, more people came together. She had more support. She is a real inspiration. So, what makes people great? It is all of those, she was married. She had a full-time job, a kid to take care of yet she did everything in her abilities to do something more than any of us who are single, who have no dependencies could do. Of course, the tree that provides fresh air, fruits and shadow is great but the person who planted the tree in the first place is greater.